k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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