Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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