maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
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I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
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I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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