all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
