sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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