Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
