i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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