So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
she told me i tasted like america
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
