she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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