I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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