Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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