the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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