I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
