yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
