so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
