If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
