i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
