I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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