i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
