I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize