Ambien. No doubt about it.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
