Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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