Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
