i barfeds in our rink
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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