I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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