What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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