What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
