He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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