Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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