his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
