Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
