It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm too high and old for this...
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
