I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
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Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
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My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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