I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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