Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
My liver just had a heart attack.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
