trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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