I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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