i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
