you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
