Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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