my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
