the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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