I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I am spending my child support on dildos
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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