im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
