Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Randomize
