Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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