I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
