kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
