So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
