I'm lost and stupid without you.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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