his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
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He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
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Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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