ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Randomize
