i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
