ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I think people are normalizing furries
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
