Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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