Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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