dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
