id be glad to
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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