is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Everyone says I win the strip club
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
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