Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize