How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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