Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
