He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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