You're completely useless in the revolution.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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